


Doubts of Affection

by myravenspirit



Series: Growing Affections [6]
Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:01:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25391284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myravenspirit/pseuds/myravenspirit
Summary: Sesshomaru arrives on an appointed day to see Rin but comes across Rin having a conversation with Kohaku. Will his eavesdropping reveal doubts or truths? (One-shot).
Relationships: Rin & Sesshoumaru (InuYasha), Rin/Sesshoumaru (InuYasha)
Series: Growing Affections [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1929718
Comments: 2
Kudos: 57





	Doubts of Affection

_There is no other_. He had told himself that one phrase over and over. By the time Rin turned thirteen he decided his heart, his daiyoukai heart, had chosen her and her alone. Of course, he knew it was too soon to voice his desires, to tell her of his heart and how it beat for her alone.

His irreplaceable Rin.

Even Jaken understood his place in Sesshomaru's world.

Sesshomaru wanted her to have the choice. It was always going to be her choice. Him or the ningen village. Perhaps even marrying a ningen boy.

 _Perhaps Kohaku._ Sesshomaru always dreaded the place where his mind would take him when he thought of the young taijiya with his treasured Rin.

Rin would always run to him, the cold daiyoukai, with a brilliant smile, soft melodic laughter whenever he visited. His heart grew fonder with each year since his confession, his proposal.

He was giving her time to explore her heart.

He knew that she would never deny him if he told her what he wanted. He even knew that she would bare herself to him if he so wished for it.

He closed his eyes and steadied his breathing. _No, this one's Rin must make the choice of her own volition and free will._

Sesshomaru guided A-Un down into the valley. He could smell Rin everywhere in the valley. This was her favourite place. A valley that had beautiful flowers, from orchids, kikus, and violets. She had her pick of flowers. Sesshomaru dismounted the saddle and looked around to see if Rin was within his view. He did not see her. "Jaken." Sesshomaru watched as the small demon sat up and rubbed his eyes. The journey had been a longer one this time as they had gone further than before in their quest to secure his empire.

"Hai, milord?" Jaken asked tiredly.

"Take Rin's gifts to the village." He ordered.

Sesshomaru watched as Jaken grabbed the reins of the two head beast. "Come on A-Un, onwards to the old miko's." Jaken ordered.

Sesshomaru turned away and followed Rin's trail. He stopped at the edge of the field when he caught a second scent. A masculine and human one.

_Kohaku._

Sesshomaru continued his casual pace with a thousand thoughts running through his head. Were they lovers? Rin was now a woman and nearing her sixteenth birthday. Was Kohaku proposing? Was he making love to his Rin?

Sesshomaru resisted the rising growl and from letting his eyes bleed red, ready to tear Kohaku's heart out of his chest. He thought of nine different ways to kill Kohaku in that moment.

_No, this one must support Rin's choice. She will always be this one's treasured Rin, even if she does not choose this one. This one will always treasure her, even if it must be from afar._

That thought alone caused his heart to ache.

Sesshomaru walked through the woods silently following the trail.

He left the woods and came upon a river bank. He stopped as he saw Kohaku sitting beside Rin. There was enough distance between them that there was enough room for another person to sit in between them. Sesshomaru felt mild relief.

"You know I love you, right?" Kohaku asked Rin.

Sesshomaru saw Kohaku turn to look at Rin. Kohaku's eye caught his own but the boy-turned-man who had grown handsomely moved to focus on Rin alone.

"I…I love you…but I don't…" Rin stumbled out.

Sesshomaru left silently, with a mere turn. He walked through the woods and pulled out an item from his kimono, protected by his amour. He opened his palm and looked at the flowers and butterfly made in gold and ornated with precious jewels. It was comb he had made especially for his Rin.

He could not face her now. But he wanted her to have it still. To always know that he treasured her.

To know that he loved her.

_Does she love the taijiya because he can voice his feelings? The depth of his heart? Is that what will bring this one's Rin's adoration back?_

Sesshomaru stopped and the wind picked up around him in the valley of flowers. On the wind he could smell his brother's miko wife. He followed it and found her at the giant hanyou's garden.

"Hello, Sesshomaru. Rin is in the valley if you are looking for her." Kagome smiled as she pulled a few herbs from the garden.

"This Sesshomaru found his Rin, but she is receiving a proposal. She has made her choice. Give her this comb, she can always rely on me for protection as she once did." Sesshomaru held out the comb.

He watched as Kagome's eyes filled. _Why does she look upset?_

Kagome stood up and shook her hand. "Don't…don't misunderstand the situation…Onegai." She whispered and walked up to him, hands folded in front of her, showing him that she would not accept the comb on Rin's behalf.

 _She knows something._ He thought as he studied her worried expression.

"Onii-san," He allowed it this time and watched as Kagome bit her bottom lip and worried it for a moment. She reached out and closed his hand over the jewel and quickly pulled her hand back, "You should talk to her. She has made her choice. Those words only belong to her to speak and they are for you to hear." Kagome said before kneeling back down and pulling out a weed and putting it in a separate basket.

"Sesshomaru-sama?" Jinenji asked as he approached from the left. Sesshomaru turned to him and saw Jinenji holding out a tray that had some fresh melon sliced up and a cup of water. "You must've had a long journey. Rin-chan mentioned that you only eat fruit. She had picked this very melon out for you this morning and sliced it in preparation for your visit today."

Sesshomaru stared at the perfectly cut melon. "This Sesshomaru is not hungry. You may have it." Sesshomaru leapt up into the air.

He was confused by the unfamiliar feelings that ran amuck in his mind and heart. Elation and hurt all at once. Rin still cut his fruit up perfectly. She had probably hauled the water too from the fresh spring water, knowing that he did not particularly enjoy the taste of the well water from the village.

He was hurt that Kagome, his brother's wife, seemed to know more than she was willing to share.

Sesshomaru landed in the valley and saw Rin emerging from the woods alone. She was holding her arm and walking with her head bowed. He could smell salt on her. She had been crying.

_What do I not understand, miko?_

88888888888888888888888888888

It had been any other day for Rin in the village. Except that today she was expecting her lord to visit. _I want to tell him. I have made my decision._

"Ohayo!" A familiar voice called out and Rin stood up from the patch of melons and holding onto her haul.

"Ohayo, Kohaku. You've come to visit your sister and family?" Rin asked with a smile.

He had grown handsome and tall. Broad, muscular shoulders. Nothing could be hidden beneath the taijiya outfit, he was a man now.

Rin saw him shake his head and he grinned. "What are you doing today?" He asked her as he leaned on the wooden fence of the garden.

Rin looked down at her melon. "I was picking this out for Sesshomaru-sama. He is going to visit today." She smiled at the melon. She had been waiting for this visit for three months. Sesshomaru had promised to come back on this very day.

Kohaku's smile wavered but then he nodded, and he looked to Jinenji, "Jinenji, can Rin leave the melon with you?"

Jinenji nodded as he was at his outdoor table and sorting through the seedlings.

Rin mentally pouted as Kohaku told her what to do. _I am independent, let me decide what I am doing for the day, Kohaku._

Rin obliged him anyways and washed the melon and sliced it up carefully and set it on a tray and covered the slices with honey that her and Kagome had found together. Kagome was still hoping to craft the bee house that was from her era but for now Kaede had enjoyed the honey most of all. Rin turned one of Jinenji's rice bowels over the glazed melon. "Jinenji, I'll be back for this later. If that is alright? Oh, I should pour the glass of water too." Rin hummed out as she went inside and pulled out a small clay jar and poured a cup and covered it too. The tray left in the shade of the house.

"Ohayo, Kohaku. I didn't know you were visiting." Kagome called out with a wave as she carried up a basket on her hip.

Kohaku turned to Kagome, "I came to see Rin first."

Rin could see Kagome stop for a moment. Kagome glanced to Rin with a look in her eyes that Rin could not decipher. Rin had trusted Kagome with knowledge of everything.

They were like sisters.

Neither of them ever had a sister before and it was nice. The bond they shared was only amplified by who they were both close to, Inuyasha. Albeit in different ways. But Kagome and Inuyasha both looked out and cared for Rin and she returned those sentiments back.

Kagome knew Rin's choice.

"I'll be back shortly." Rin said, she waved to Jinenji and ran up to Kagome. Kagome grabbed her arm and gave her a nod. Rin smiled and returned the nod.

Kohaku led the way down to the river bank and they both sat down. Rin put enough distance between them.

They remained silent for a long time.

"Rin, do you like it here?" He asked suddenly. His voice shattering the silence.

Rin side glanced at him; he was staring up into the clear river below them. "I am content."

"I know Sango has trained you, as well as Inuyasha." He nodded to himself as he spoke. He crossed his arms as if thinking a deep thought. He pressed on, "I am thinking of rebuilding the demon slayer village. Would you like to come with me?"

"Nani?" Rin asked quietly.

He turned to her and Rin kept her gaze forward and down at the river. "You know I love you, right?" He asked.

Rin felt a thousand emotions at once. Flattery and rage most prominent. _Have I ever led him to believe I return his feelings? He's always been my friend though. But …he is so free with his heart and feelings._

"I…I love you…but I don't…" Rin stumbled out and curled in upon herself, "I don't love you like you deserve. I love you like I had my brothers long ago before the bandits took their life."

It was eerily silent now.

She felt an ache in her heart for causing Kohaku pain. She lifted her head and turned to look at him. Tears welling up in her eyes. "Gomen'nasai. Truly, Kohaku. I…my heart belongs to another." She finished quietly.

His head was bowed slightly, and she couldn't see his eyes as they were covered by his bangs. She saw him fist the grass. "Why? Why _him_? He can't love you like you deserve. He could never love you like I would. He will live on and will forget you." Kohaku shouted at her and raised his head, a few tears running down his cheeks.

She moved quickly and slapped him and sat back on her knees. "Don't insult him! Don't try and be cruel! That isn't you Kohaku! You are good and kind, but you've always known I cared for Sesshomaru. You will find someone much worthier than I of your heart." Rin stood up quickly.

_Our friendship…can it ever be salvaged?_

Kohaku stood up and looked down at her, he had a few good inches on her. "Gomen, Rin. You were my first friend. I just wanted you to be happy." He wiped an eye.

Rin felt only pity for slapping him. She raised a hand and touched the red skin on his cheek. "Will you ever forgive me?"

He smiled sadly at her. "Hai. I've known where you heart laid for awhile now, I had only hoped to dissuade you. It won't be an easy life with him. You know that, right?" He grabbed her hand and slowly brought it down and held her hand in both of his. "I'll always be your friend. I'll be there whenever you need me."

Rin returned the smile. "Arigato, Kohaku. You are a true friend."

Kohaku let go of her hand and tilted his head to the woods, "He was here." He winced as Rin let out a shriek. "Gomen, he left."

Rin felt panic rising in her chest as she looked at the woods. Her chest rising and falling erratically. "What did he hear?" Rin gasped out as she reeled back from Kohaku and stared at the woods.

"My confession, possibly, also you saying that you loved me…but not the rest." Kohaku winced. "Go on. He may be in the valley still."

Rin looked to Kohaku, "He won't be there. He'll think I made my choice." She took a step back and raised her hands to her mouth and felt the tears spilling freely. "Kohaku, he loved me, truly. He had proposed almost three years ago. He didn't want an answer then because he wanted me to explore my feelings and my heart. 'Our hearts are tied.' Those were his words."

Kohaku's jaw slacked. He sighed heavily and bowed slightly and scratched the back of his head. "I really couldn't compete with that confession. He really does love you after all. Gomen. Tell him I am sorry as well."

Rin shook her head. "He won't be there!" She shrieked and gasped as her heart felt heavy in her chest.

Kohaku looked at her sternly and crossed his arms as he stood before her, chin tilted up. "He is there. I sense his demonic energy."

Rin nodded and headed to the woods. She looked back to Kohaku who smiled reassuringly. "Arigato, Kohaku." Rin said softly before turning and leaving her friend behind.

She walked through the woods and wondered what she could say to Sesshomaru to make him understand without mauling Kohaku to death. Although she also figured everyone would come to Kohaku's defence, even if Kohaku were very efficient with his weapons, he had left the large scythe behind and Sesshomaru was a daiyoukai.

They were leagues apart.

Rin emerged from the woods and looked up with fresh tears and saw Sesshomaru in the middle of the field looking at her.

How she longed to run into his arms and be held by him.

She knew how difficult this life would be when she chose him. But he chose her too and that made her heart swell whenever she had doubts in the darkness of the hut at night. When nightmares of her past manifested as the future. Instead of her parents dying, it was her and Sesshomaru, and their hanyou child was left to fend for themselves. She feared that their child would live a life like Inuyasha's early childhood.

She continued to walk to him. Keeping her gaze on him. Afraid he would disappear if she blinked.

Hanyou.

Their child or children would be hanyou. But she would love them as much as Inuyasha's mother loved him. Rin would die for these unborn children of hers and Sesshomaru's. No other could be the father of her children. She would live as a miko or even as a nun in a monastery if he left her for good.

She knew it would be difficult, but Sesshomaru would not fall to bandits as he did in her nightmares. They were foolish fears. She believed in his strength…and in his heart.

She stopped before him and stared up at him. She willed her tears to stop but they refused.

"Rin?" Sesshomaru's amber eyes bore into her brown ones.

"You. It's always been you." She choked out and threw herself into his arms. Arms that enveloped her. Lips pressed against her brow. She didn't care that the spike of his armour poked into her clavicle. He was holding her and had kissed her brow. "I love you, Sesshomaru."

She realized she dropped the title and closed her eyes, realizing she had dropped it earlier too. _Gomen._

"Rin…you told Kohaku that you loved him as well. What is your choice? Me or him?" Sesshomaru asked and pushed her back from his chest and held her at arms length away.

She stared up into his eyes and saw confusion, animosity, and hurt. She had hurt him.

"You didn't listen to the whole thing…I told him I love him like a brother, like I had once loved my older brothers. That he is a friend, a true friend. I begged him for forgiveness for hurting him. I never knew he loved me like that. He doubted your ability to love me."

A soft growl and a glare in the direction of the river. She put her hands on his left arm and he quickly looked back down at her, eyes softening.

She smiled at him, "I told him our hearts are tied together. I will always choose you, Sesshomaru-sama."

He stared at her and pulled her to him quickly, he kissed her hard on the mouth and Rin felt breathless. His lips demanding and Rin ran her hands up his chest and up and around his neck. She returned his kisses, sighing into it and instantly feeling his tongue dive into her mouth. She heard him softly grunt before pulling away.

He cupped her face. "This one is only Sesshomaru to you in privacy." He murmured gently and added, "This Sesshomaru shouldn't have doubt you, Rin."

She pulled him down to her lips for another kiss. She winced as a spike scrapped her shoulder. They pulled apart. He touched her shoulder gently rubbing it. "I have a present for you." He reached into his kimono and held out his open palm up to her.

Rin stared at the ornate comb in awe. "Sesshomaru." She whispered.

"Wear it for me." Rin nodded and took it and slid it into her hair where her side ponytail used to be. She saw him studying her face. "Beautiful, my Rin is always beautiful and always will be." He wrapped his arms around her again and simply held her mindful of his spikes. "Only you, I could only ever love you."

Rin felt warm and loved. To know that her daiyoukai loved her and only her despite his centuries old life span made her feel absolutely beautiful and treasured. "There was no need for a choice. It is fate." She hummed out softly.

"Fate?" Sesshomaru asked her softly.

She nodded into his chest. "From the very start, it was fate that I met you. You gave me a second chance and Godobo-sama gave me a third chance. Now, I am yours. Fate." She lifted her head and smiled up at him. Clawed fingers raking through her hair.

"We will treasure everyday then." He pulled back up for a kiss. "Let us speak to the miko." He said after pulling back from her lips.

"Hai, we must tell her that I have made my choice." Rin nodded and stepped back from him. She turned to walk and felt a clawed hand grab hers and held it gently. She felt her heart leap.

"Just until the village." He said softly beside her.

Rin looked to him and nodded, squeezing his hand. "I know." She laced her fingers with her, happily and greedily taking all of his affection for herself. She stopped and Sesshomaru stopped beside her and looked down at her in curiosity. "Sesshomaru, I had some melon glazed in honey up at Jinenji's and spring water."

Sesshomaru almost looked guiltily down at her, "This Sesshomaru felt that his Rin had rejected him and had offered it to the giant." Rin pouted up at him and he cupped her cheek. "Did you go through much trouble?"

Rin nodded, "I woke up before dawn to get the water. And the honey was not easy to obtain. It took me hours to get the bees to let me snatch it!" Before Rin could keep complaining, Sesshomaru kissed her silent.

He pulled back, "This Sesshomaru realizes his mistake. Next time, let this one get his Rin honey from the palace."

Rin smiled and pulled her hand from his and grabbed his shoulders with both of her hands, "Really? Godobo-sama will let me have honey? Can I give some to Kaede-sama as a gift of appreciation? She truly loves honey."

Sesshomaru held her waist and stared into her smiling face, "Hai. This Sesshomaru will give her a jar for each year she care for his Rin." He pressed his lips to Rin's forehead. "She has raised Rin to become a properly lady after all."

Rin laughed softly, "Are you saying that perhaps you were unable to care for me or to raise me as a proper lady?"

Sesshomaru gave a nod. "This Sesshomaru was convinced to leave his Rin, it was the best decision he made in terms of his Rin's care."

Rin coyly smiled at him, "You keep calling me yours, am I your possession?" She asked the part with whisper.

Sesshomaru lifted her up bridal style, Rin letting out a squeak. "You are this one's most treasured person, you are _mine_." He said and carried her off toward the village to deal with Kaede. Rin laughed lightly and rested her cheek against his shoulder, Mokomoko rubbing against her cheek.

**Author's Note:**

> Like it? Let me know what you think. Don't forget to follow me on Tumblr @myravenspirit or FFN.


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